OCICBW is back!

The Mad One is back - off you go!

South Carolina churces get blasted

From The Salt Lake Tribune:

Charleston, S.C. During the summer of 1863, the Union forces tightened their siege of Charleston. In a marsh on Morris Island, they built a platform on pilings sunk 20 feet to bedrock. Onto this were loaded 13,000 sandbags hauled over two miles. The capstone was an 8-ton Parrott rifle.

Capable of throwing a 150-pound shell over four miles -- more specifically smack into the middle of downtown Charleston -- the gun was dubbed the "Swamp Angel."
Shortly after midnight on Aug. 22, the Swamp Angel began lobbing incendiary shells into the South's Holy City. Because of the distance, knowing whether they were on target consisted of listening to the warning bong of church bells.

Charleston residents were understandably upset. It's one thing to enjoy seeing someone else get shot at and quite another when the bomb lands on the other foot. Shooting at noncombatants, and especially churches, was denounced as an act of "inexcusable barbarity."
.....
I love the irony of using church steeples to sight artillery, particularly when those churches deliberately stepped away from their noncombatant roles.

Charleston's churches once resounded with enthusiastic support for fratricide and the "inexcusable barbarity" of slavery. Some even donated their bells to be recast as cannon for the Confederacy. In cases like this, I mean, really, why not shoot at a church?

Today, I prefer a more metaphorical form of shooting. When a church swerves outside its role of promoting peace and brotherly love, it deserves the fire it draws.
Robert Kirby can be reached at rkirby@sltrib.com.

I thought I would be in trouble!

Balloon boy safe---

One minute, President Obama was on the television, speaking about the rebirth of New Orleans, the usual array of citizenry behind him. In the next, he had been shoved aside by a live, breaking Grimm's fairy tale. And like all children's fables, it was at once horrifying and enchanting.

A rambunctious 6-year-old boy had climbed into a homemade helium balloon, the anchors announced gravely. Now he was floating so prettily 7,000 feet above Colorado, toward the heavens, at the mercy of the winds.
....
There became one conversation, one America: What's the latest on the balloon boy? How are they going to get him down? Here came the parade of experts, in air balloon construction, mechanics and lore. How'd he get up there anyway?

NBC's Nancy Snyderman talked about the cognitive facility of 6-year-olds. Psychologists speculated about how afraid he might be. How cold is it up there? Meteorologists consulted their models. He might not even be in there -- it might be a stunt, he might have fallen out.

At last, the jet stream set the shimmering orb gently down in the middle of a vast field.

Men in overalls ran to the balloon and stabbed it with shovels until it slowly crumpled.

A nation held its breath.

There was no boy.

Authorities scoured the ground for bits of broken plywood, a crumpled child.

And then, five hours after the horror began, someone interrupted the sheriff giving a breaking-news briefing: The boy had been found!

His name was Falcon, the perfect fairy-tale name. He had been hiding in a cardboard box in the rafters of the garage. "I played," the boy told reporters, "and then I went to sleep."

Book burning

The Raw Story reports on the latest book burning - inclucing Mother Teresa!

A Baptist Church near Asheville, N.C., is hosting a "Halloween book burning" to purge the area of "Satan's" works, which include all non-King James versions of the Bible, popular books by many religious authors and even country music.
...
Church leaders deem Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible, as well as at least seven other versions of the Bible as "Satan's Bibles," according to the website. Attendees will also set fire to "Satan's popular books" such as the work of "heretics" including the Pope, Mother Teresa, Billy Graham and Rick Warren.

Rick Warren? Why would you buy them in the first place?

The March and a Hate Crime

Report from Integrity NYC:

Members of Integrity from several chapters in Province II attended the National Equality March in DC on Sunday 11 Oct. Representatives from Integrity Rochester and Integrity NYC met with delegates from Province III and Integrity DC to march together. There was a notable amount of Episcopalians throughout the crowd, and Integrity Vice-President of Local Affairs Neil Houghton, was one of the religious delegates noted at the Invocation given at the beginning of the program. An audible cheer went up from the Episcopalians when Neil was announced.

Chap Day, Province II Coordinator for Integrity USA attended with a group of activists from Queens NY, including Integrity NYC members from Queens, the Gay Peruvians, Queens Pride Committee, the ISO, and at-risk LGBTQ homeless youth who are in a program called Generation Q, as well as with Daniel Dromm, the openly gay District Leader of 39th Assembly District A, and a Democratic nominee for New York City Council, Distict 25.

"This event was one for local organizers to get motivated and empowered. The youth who attended from Queens NY saw community organizing at its best. They got to interact with positive forces on all levels from IntegriyNYC, to elected officials like Danny Dromm, and to celebrities like Cynthia Nixon and Lady Gaga. The message was one for those who will be taking the baton and need to be told that they can make a difference for the good," commented Micheal Mallon, a member of IntegrityNYC and Queens Pride Committee.

It was disheartening, that the delegation from IntegrityNYC returned home to learn that on Friday night a hate crime had occurred in College Point, Queens. A 49 year old gay man was beaten late Friday night/early Saturday morning, and is now in a medically induced coma. His family did not release the information until Monday. Organizers from Integrity NYC, Daniel Dromm's office, the ISO, Queens Pride, the Gay Peruvians, and Generation Q who met to organize for DC are now working together for a Vigil and local action.

"It is upsetting that this is the type of event we're now having to organize for; the high of empowerment on Sunday, and now the low of demoralizing hate and fear the next, and this is why our mission is so important," remarked Chap Day.

Most annoying song

The Huffington Post asks what is the most annoying song?

A new poll declared "Whatever" the most annoying word in America this week, which sounded pretty interesting until we learned that it wasn't the most annoying word of all time but the most annoying out of 6 options: "whatever," "anyway," "you know," "it is what it is," "at the end of the day," and "unsure." ("At the end of the day" came in last with only 2% finding it annoying.)
Determined not to be outdone, we here at the Huffington Post decided to present to you our own "Most Annoying" lists, starting with songs. What do you think is the most annoying song of all time? We've started you out with a few that drive our editors insane -- vote on the worst and add your own!

So far "Having My Baby" is #1, "I'm Too Sexy" is high on the charts.

Read more here.

Maybe we should run Most Annoying Hymn"

Sell the Vatican, Feed the World

Bible in one minute

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Bible in 1 minute:

Mimes to save Seattle

Crosscut, Seattle, WA has a cure for city ills - mimes, dressing like homeless and importing hillbillies.

Problem: Ridding city parks of nuisance people

City Council candidate Jessie Israel has made public safety a top priority and would like to clean up our urban parks. Mayor Greg Nickels has proposed to ban guns from city parks. Westlake is an example of a park that's been taken over by surly, seedy youths with lots of luggage. How do you flush out downtown parks and make them safer?

Solution: Invite hundreds of out-of-work mimes to drive away the homeless.

Time to get outta the pool - MP is back

Thanks everyone - it's been fun! Mad Priest is back!

Here we go again ...

NHS uses Health & Safety legislation to tell nurse to remove cross necklace.

Bad Habits

Ottawa -- Members of Parliament received a message from on high when a group of three PETA members dressed as nuns interrupted a session during Parliament's first week back from vacation. From the gallery, the "women of the cloth" waved signs that read, "The Seal Slaughter Is a Bad Habit," and chanted, "Ban the seal slaughter!" before they were hauled off by security and taken to waiting police cars.

The protest came just hours after three PETA members--targeting Prime Minister Stephen Harper in Washington, D.C.--dressed as bloody seals and stopped traffic in front of the Canadian Embassy, where they were arrested.

"Heaven knows it's long past time for this senseless slaughter to stop," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "There's a special place in hell for anyone who would bludgeon and skin alive a helpless pup."

PETA

Technology and the clergy

Kanye West calls Taylor Swift to apologise

Kanye West has personally apologised for his outburst at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs)

The rapper has finally said sorry to 19-year-old pop singer Taylor Swift - who was awarded the prize for the Best Female Video on Sunday - after he ran onto the stage during her acceptance speech, snatched her microphone and told the star-studded audience he thought Beyonce Knowles deserved to win...

The third biggest story on the Sydney Morning Herald's website and I've never heard of either of them. Does anyone know who these two people are? The President has apparently commented so he must know of them. I'm obviously out of this loop.

Sex with ducks

Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci sing a pro-gay marriage song in response to a Pat Robertson quote that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing sex with ducks.



h/t to Soli Deo Gloria - aka Sally D.

Can condoms fight climate change?

Can condoms fight climate change? Well, it depends..........

Would Jesus Discriminate?

Pro-gay billboards in Texas. Lindy points us to some new advertising. Would Jesus Discriminate?

cross posted from Friends of Jake

Don't let him look at me, Mummy

Another frightening cleric - this one was a Bishop of Doncaster!

DOES MY BUTT LOOK BIG IN THIS?

Mamma Mia! Kylie leaves fans breathless



She took the stage overnight for a duet with ABBA's Benny Andersson, but Kylie Minogue had fans saying "Mamma Mia" for other reasons this weekend.

Minogue attracted the gaze of fans and British media when she was seen in London wearing a partially see-through white dress that clung tightly to her figure.

Minogue happily signed autographs and posed in the racy, crocheted dress for fans, as she made her way from her home to a recording studio, the News of the World said.

The Australian pop star later had her fans in raptures again when she sang with ABBA's Benny Andersson at the Thank You For The Music tribute show at London's Hyde Park on Sunday night.

Answer: No, it looks just fine!

Norris the Cat

Proper insults

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before
the English language got boiled down to
4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give
you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you
will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of
the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read
many obituaries with great
pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that
might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest
Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your
book; I'll waste no time reading
it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a
nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked
by his friends..." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first
night of my new play; bring a
friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard
Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will
attend second.... if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost
like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his
creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's
hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause
of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to
run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she
always yielded easily." -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to
him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an
envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and
kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go.." -
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
lamp-posts... for support rather
than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy
Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening..But
this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

Now that's fire danger

Where the Brits, Canadians, and even the Aussies dare to go

From The Telegraph

Creation, starring Paul Bettany, details Darwin's "struggle between faith and reason" as he wrote On The Origin of Species. It depicts him as a man who loses faith in God following the death of his beloved 10-year-old daughter, Annie.

The film was chosen to open the Toronto Film Festival and has its British premiere on Sunday. It has been sold in almost every territory around the world, from Australia to Scandinavia.

However, US distributors have resolutely passed on a film which will prove hugely divisive in a country where, according to a Gallup poll conducted in February, only 39 per cent of Americans believe in the theory of evolution....

So much for the land of the free and the home of the brave. (HT to The Immoral Minority).

Too risqué for this crowd?

risqué (comparative more risqué, superlative most risqué)

1. Suggestive of sexual impropriety; bordering on the indelicate.

Reverse Caption Competition

The Evil Mule and The Saintly Priest. Great title but not much of a story. It did, however, feature this line:

"She would do whatever she liked and I would do my best to hang on."

Any (non-obscene) ideas for a photo (or maybe story) to match?

All Love Is Divine

Some Find Second Collection Controversial

PORTLAND, Maine -- The campaign to overturn Maine's new gay-marriage law is heating up within the Catholic Church.The Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland asked parishioners to donate in a second collection on Sunday.
. . . .

Back inside the church, the pastor asked parishioners to ask themselves, what would Jesus do?"

. . . .

Along the church fence, a handful of protestors dressed as angels carried signs. One read: For Heaven's sake, all love is divine - Vote No On 1.

Seems like the angels got it right.

I Know I Said I Wouldn't Post...

Don't blame me. Blame Paul (A.):

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, "You've got to make
love to me this very moment."

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going
to be my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and
then gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still
around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Women are very mean.

Cheers,

Paul

American Vice: Mapping the 7 Deadly Sins

American Vice: Mapping the 7 Deadly Sins

We're gluttons for infographics, and a team at Kansas State just served up a feast: maps of sin created by plotting per-capita stats on things like theft (envy) and STDs (lust). Christian clergy, likely noting the Bible Belt's status as Wrath Central, question the "science." Valid point—or maybe it's just the pride talking.

Wrath Central ? We're particularly impressed with the Bible Belt's STD rates (including South Carolina).

Post Away!

Since MadPriest is away and has closed off his comments, any of you who have posting privileges here at OCICBOV are welcome to post, according to our host Dennis. I will not be posting, because I simply do not have time, but the rest of you, have at it.

Comment moderation will remain on, because there may be times when no one is regularly minding the store.

He says he's on holiday ......

Priest on divine mission hijacks Mexican plane

A Protestant priest who said he was on a divine mission hijacked a Mexican plane mid-air with 104 people on board triggering a brief airport drama, officials said.

The Bible-carrying priest was said by Mexican officials to have hijacked the Aeromexico Boeing 737 after it left from the popular tourist resort of Cancun on a flight to Mexico City.

He told authorities he had wanted to protect the country after he "had a revelation that Mexico was facing a great danger, and was threatened by an earthquake," public security official, Genaro Garcia Luna, said.

The priest hinted that he was acting with two accomplices, "referring to himself (the Father), the Son and the Holy Spirit," Garcia Luna said.

All the people onboard the flight were safely evacuated at Mexico City, officials said, as security forces swarmed the capital's international airport within minutes of the plane landing.

The priest told reported that his act was linked to Wednesday's date, September 9, 2009 because the numbers 9/9/9 were the opposite of 6/6/6 the numbers associated with the AntiChrist.

In less than an hour, the drama had been brought to an end. The last to leave the plane was the captain, who had negotiated the release of the passengers with a woman air controller.

Vacation Over. Blog Closed. MadPriest is home.

Our Work Is Done Here. Thanks to all of you who pitched in and kept the show running. I appreciate all of the help. Thanks to my co-posters. This is more than a one person show (I don't know how MP finds the time or energy to do it by himself!) and it couldn't have been done without you.

So this place is now closed and you can all return to Of Course I Could Be Wrong.... See you over there.

-Dennis

Take Joy In Your 14 Years Of Service As A Priest!

Today, June 27, (give or take a day?) Jonathan, aka MadPriest, celebrates, what he calls "14 years of wasted priesthood". I have no doubt that his opinion of the value of his years of service in the priesthood is wrong, and I'm sure that the people in his parish church agree with me. His sermons, which he sometimes posts, are often excellent. He takes as much care in his planning for the humblest of funerals, as he would for the planning of a big society wedding. He visits the sick, the dying, the elderly, and the home-bound. He does his job.

He lost a few years of ministry, not of his own choosing, but due to mental illness. It is greatly to his credit that, by the grace of God, with the help of mental health professionals, and through his own efforts, he made his way through the darkness until he was well enough to do that which is his heart's desire, serve God as a priest to God's people. He speaks often of his role as a priest as one of service to his parishioners, which is, to me, of the very essence of the priesthood.

In addition to his service in his own parish church, he ministers to hundreds on the internet through his blog. Those who have been pushed to the margins by society and by the church are welcomed into the community at Of Course I Could Be Wrong, a welcoming which I believe that Jesus smiles upon, as we see in the Gospels that, throughout his ministry, Jesus sought out the company of all manner of folks who were held in dishonor and disrepute.

Over the years, his web site provided me many a laugh, many serious, thoughtful moments, and a host of new friends, virtual and face-to-face, to enrich my life. And then there's the music. Jonathan introduced me to several musicians, whom I love, and whose music I subsequently purchased. Plus, he hits the right notes for me quite often with the songs he posts.

Oh dear! I nearly left off one of the ministries of OCICBW that has meant a great deal to me - the prayer requests and responses. People from all over send in prayer requests, and the responses to the requests come from from all over the world. Time and time again, I have been comforted, strengthened, and uplifted by knowing that a goodly number of folks are praying and sending good thoughts and good wishes to me and to those whom I love during periods of trial and distress.

For all of that I am grateful. I believe that I do not stand alone in my gratitude and appreciation of Jonathan's online service, which is not his alone, but very much a community affair.

Of course, I could be wrong.

So, I say to you, Jonathan, you may call your 14 years of priesthood a waste, but pardon me if I disagree. My wish for you is that you continue in your service as a priest, with God's blessing, for many years to come.


The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

(Numbers 6:24-26)

Pronunciation

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the "blonde" employee:

"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at... VERY SLOWLY?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said... "Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing"

This whole Michael Jackson thing...

I'll confess to being annoyed by all of the hype around the Michael Jackson story. Lots of things are happening around the world but this washed out singer dies and all of the focus goes there. And the screaming crowds and the non-stop chatter on the news networks is maddening.

Nonetheless, Hunter on Daily Kos wrote a decent obit that is worth reading. Perhaps in the midst of the screaming fans and the wall to wall coverage it says all that should be said.

I suggest clicking on the link above and reading it.

And then lets get back to real news. The fight for democracy in Iran. The continuing war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Darfur. The fact that 12 million American kids went to bed hungry last night because they ate the equivalent of only one meal yesterday. The fact that special interests are fighting efforts in Congress to reform health care in America and address the climate crisis. The kind of stuff that should be receiving wall to wall coverage from the networks.

I wonder how different a world we would live in if the networks hyped real issues.

"Straight Outta Compline"

The BCP Boys with their number one single, now for the first time in this delightful rap video. Lyrics: "Straight outta compline! Thinkin about goin to bed Gotta say my prayers til the day I'm dea..."

H/T to Jim Naughton at The Lead at the Episcopal Café.

Bear warning

Read to the end.

Progressive Episcopalians of Pittsburgh statement on ACNA

PROGRESSIVE EPISCOPALIANS OF PITTSBURGH

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

ACNA Faces Difficult, Divisive Future

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania — June 25, 2009 — The Anglican Church in North America (ACNA) faces a difficult and uncertain future. The new “Anglican” denomination formed this week in Bedford, Texas, that elected Robert W. Duncan, deposed Episcopal Bishop of Pittsburgh, as its archbishop, seems more likely to fracture the Anglican Communion permanently than to strengthen or “reform” it.

ACNA faces the difficult task of embracing diversity while adhering to the restrictive polity, theology, and membership set out in the Global Anglican Future Conference’s Jerusalem Declaration. The disparate groups that met in Texas have in common a desire to be a part of the Anglican Communion, a disdain for The Episcopal Church and for the Anglican Church of Canada, and a passionate desire to believe as they think their forebears have always believed. Future conflicts over polity, power, and theology appear inevitable.

More immediate are ACNA’s financial and legal problems. ACNA has inherited ongoing litigation over property claimed by The Episcopal Church and Anglican Church of Canada in California, Ontario, Pennsylvania, Texas, Vancouver, and elsewhere. Litigation to date has been overwhelming unfavorable to those leaving existing churches, and additional lawsuits are likely. In Pittsburgh litigation, Archbishop Duncan has pleaded with the court to unfreeze contested diocesan assets because his group is close to financial collapse. ACNA has been trying to raise $700,000 in special gifts from members of its component churches.

“Despite the ACNA’s grand words, the new organization is being built largely with assets belonging to The Episcopal Church and the Anglican Church of Canada. It is unclear what Christian moral principles can be invoked to justify this,” said Pittsburgh attorney and Progressive Episcopalians of Pittsburgh (PEP) vice president Kenneth Stiles.

Notwithstanding “Anglican” in its name, ACNA has no secure relationship to the Anglican Communion. Certain churches of ACNA have never been part of the Communion, and the rest of ACNA has violated Communion tradition through irregular relationships with compliant Anglican provinces, autonomous national or regional churches that are members of the Anglican Communion.

“Less than a fifth of the Anglican provinces have offered ACNA any kind of recognition,” observed PEP board member William Stevens. “Communion membership has never been determined by recognition of individual churches other than the Church of England through the Archbishop of Canterbury. Full inclusion requires admission to the Anglican Consultative Council, which will not meet for another three years and which has shown little interest in ending the ancient tradition of geographical dioceses.”

Whereas ACNA will celebrate whatever “recognition” it receives from sympathetic Anglican provinces, its advent can only exacerbate tensions within the Anglican Communion. PEP is concerned that this has the potential to cause the Communion itself to split into two communions, one traditional but flexible, the other radical but reactionary. “Anglicanism at its best keeps us all worshipping together while we continue to discuss our differences,” observed PEP board member Lionel Deimel. “ACNA, unfortunately, seems not to see the value in that.”

###

Manly "Open Carry Celebration"

From the New York Times:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Ken Pagano, the pastor of the New Bethel Church here, is passionate about gun rights. He shoots regularly at the local firing range, and his sermon two weeks ago was on “God, Guns, Gospel, and Geometry.” And on Saturday night, he is inviting his congregation of 150 and others to wear or carry their firearms into the sanctuary to “celebrate our rights as Americans!” as a promotional flier for the “open carry celebration” puts it.

“God and guns were part of the foundation of this country,” Mr. Pagano, 49, said Wednesday as he sat in the small brick Assembly of God house of worship, where a large wooden cross hung over the altar and two American flags jutted from the side walls. “I don’t see any contradiction in this. Not every Christian denomination is pacifist”.

Now we know, Pastor Pagano.

Arkansas and Georgia recently rejected efforts to allow people to carry concealed weapons in church. Watching the debate in Arkansas was Pastor John Phillips, of the Central Church of Christ in Little Rock. In 1986, Mr. Phillips was preaching in a different church there when a gunman shot him and a parishioner. Both survived, but Mr. Phillips, 51, still has a bullet lodged in his spine.

In a telephone interview, he said he found the idea of “packing in the pew” abhorrent.

“There is a movement afoot across the nation, with the gun lobby pushing the envelope, trying to allow concealed weapons to be carried in places where they used to be prohibited — churches, schools, bars,” Mr. Phillips said.

“I don’t understand how any minister who is familiar with the teachings of the Bible can do this,” he added. “Jesus didn’t say, ‘Go ahead, make my day.’”

Good for Pastor John Phillips. He "gets" the Gospel.

A news story like this leaves me at a loss for words.

Blazing Saddles, "Lilly Von Schtupp"

The late Madeline Kahn channels her inner Marlene Dietrich.

Thought For The Day

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned."

(Luke 6:37)

Jesus' teaching on judgment in the Gospels may not apply only to the hereafter. Our judgments may come back to bite us right here in the earthly Kingdom.

Cross-posted at Wounded Bird

Most important letter?

The Vatican is selling through their gift shop a replica of the letter sent to the pope in 1530 beseeching him to grant King Henry VIII a divorce from his first wife. This is a video report from the AP on the reproduction. If you would like one of your very own, it can be had for €50,000.

Of Course I Could Be On a Diet...

Follow the doctor's orders!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
_____________________________________________________________

I blame the priest who presided at our wedding. He sent this to me in an email. This was the only clean joke that I could extract!

Our Well Informed Citizenry

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Jason Jones: Behind the Veil - Ayatollah You So
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

Caption Competition

You can enlarge the image by clicking on it

Bathroom Graffiti

I thought this was hilarious.